don't ever stop living

sometimes i will sit and think about how that time clock is ticking and ticking away. and each year it just seems to go faster and faster. i remember sitting and crying when i was going through teenage changes. 13 years old was a different year for everyone. we started to physically and emotionally change all around. when i was 13 i wanted to be 17. i wanted to drive a car. i wanted to run away and be free. when i was 17 i couldn't wait to be 21. i wanted to do things i never would be able to do while just being a teenager. i wanted people to look at me as an adult.

i wanted to see the world. so i did.

i took a giant leap, and i decided in that very moment, that i was going to do this for myself. i was 20 when i jumped without even looking. that was the best decision of my life. i travelled for 4 months. i met new people. i fell in love with different cultures. but most importantly, i fell in love with myself and my life.

us as humans will always want something we don't have. well i say, if you don't have it..then go out and get it. if it's something that you long for, if it's something that you think you will love, then find it, and hold on to it. don't let it go. don't listen to other people when they tell you "you can't".  your life is your life. live it how you think you will be happy living it.

at 22, i am proud to say that i have checked off many to do's on my bucket list. i lived in Italy. i kissed under the Eiffel Tower in Paris. i made a wish in the Trevi Fountain. i tried to learn another language. i ate wiener schnitzel and drank beer bigger than my face in Germany. i wore a toga in Greece. i travelled and i learned. i learned who i was. i learned that i didn't need to live under the expectation of anyone else.

people always ask me my plan. my plan of life, i'm assuming. i don't have a plan. i have goals, but who knows what will change by next year. next year i might want to be an astronaut. that's how i choose to live myself. "set goals. change them. make new goals". everyday is a new day to be whoever you want to be. it's your life. live it the way you want to.

be selfish. but always think of others.
love yourself the most. but always be thoughtful.

if you want to love, then i say love hard. if you want to be alone, then i say love yourself. do everything and anything.

try it.
who cares if you fail.
you are supposed to fail.
try again.
it will always turn out differently than the first time.

each day we learn. take advantage of life, but never take it for granted.

go back to school for something new.
32 and not married? who cares. your time will come. be patient.
17 and pregnant? you will teach your child things they could never learn from someone else.
22 and confused? we all are. at any age. learn to love the confusion. if things don't work out today, cry. and then start tomorrow with a new face.

do something drastic. 

buy new clothes. cry. change your hair. scream. take a long drive alone with the windows down. smile.
just don't for even a second, ever stop living.